How my Lizard Brain Plans a Vacation
Then you think to yourself that planning a vacation is exhausting. So you start clipping pictures from magazines to do a ‘mood board’ that will help clarify your desires to yourself and help you create a more orderly and rational approach to the whole ‘vacation’ thing. You rapidly move on to Pinterest, that wonderful colorful black hole of other people’s imaginary selves. Shopping for the ‘you’ that ‘you’ want to be. From there it’s a short walk to a glass of wine because, really, what better accompaniment to scrolling than a glass of wine? And that’s what everyone in the imaginary Pinterest lives is doing so you’re all now just keeping each other company. Isn’t it delightful? And on through the afternoon you go, not even noticing the light fading, looking up with a start hours and a bottle and a half later and deciding to get up and flick on the light switch because geez it’s getting dark and then understanding in some dim small back corner of your brain that you are too drunk to move. So you carefully slump down in the chair, let your head hang back, jaw slack open, and doze off. ‘Thankfully’, the last conscious thought tells you, ‘thankfully, we live alone.”